"Alas my friends we say goodbye

In May of 2007 Caitlin and I said goodbye to our friends, family and home to head off on an epic adventure in a far away land. Who knew our lives would change as they did? Who knew we would see and experience such wonderful and terrible things? Can you put words to the people, the culture, the injustices, or the life that one endures on a mission field in the third world? We shed many tears, had many laughs, we were frustrated to no end, experienced many victories, and we were deeply loved.
Today Caitlin and I are saying goodbye again. As you already know we made the temporary transition back to the states this last summer. Everything has gone by so quickly. Our beautiful daughter, Lucy Layne, is now four months old. For the last 5 months we have been living with my parents in efforts to save money to reestablish ourselves in American society. As I write this we are entering into the next faze of our transitioning life.
What lies 2233.6 miles away? Answer: Our new home. We have decided to go west. Seattle Washington is our destination. Along with being some of the most beautiful country in the nation, it is also home to my best friend that I have known for over ten years. Jeremy, his wife Meghan, and son Emmitt have opened their lives for us to come share with them. We have found a house to rent and plan on living in community with our friends for a good bit of time in Seattle. The plan is to explore, grow, and learn all there is to offer from this unique opportunity. No doubt it will be a challenge, but one that is adventurous and full of memories waiting to be had. While living with our friends will be a short-term experience, we do desire to explore to see if Seattle is an area God would use us in.
The adventure begins on Friday December 4th for me. My friend will meet me in Missouri and together we will drive 40 hours to the Pacific Northwest. Caitlin and Lucy’s journey has already begun. They flew to Seattle Sunday the 29th of November, and have begun to settle into the house and get things organized. We do not know exactly what God has in-store for us. Please pray that he continue to guide us, and that we will continue to listen and be faithful when he calls. As of now I do not have a solid job lined up, although I have some interviews, and temporary work available upon my arrival. Praise God for taking care us! He always has, and always will. Pray that we will continue to be obedient to His word.
Friends, we don’t know how to thank you or express our gratitude for being willing to serve by supporting us. Through prayer, time, and finances you have made it possible for us to put our hands to work and be apart of God changing the lives of children and adults. The stories are a book-length long and still bring us much joy and rejoicing. Caitlin and I pray for you, that God would continue to bless you, that you might bless those that do His work. Please, we beg you, to seek out those in need and continue the rich service that you have graciously shown to us. There is a great work to be done within our borders, as well as outside. Thank you, thank you for all you have done. We love you all, and would love to hear from you and all God is doing in your lives. God bless.

A Dominican friend once told me...

A Dominican friend once told me, “Excuse me if this is rude, but your culture is weird.” I sometimes reflect on those words as I go throughout my “normal” daily routine. I sometimes find myself uncomfortable or uneasy just driving down the perfectly paved roads with the perfectly ordered traffic. We were in Colorado the last couple of weeks for our Debriefing and Renewal training. While there, we were able to spend some time with friends, supporters and family. One evening while we were there, we went with Caitlin’s brother and his wife to Denver and walked around in the outdoor mall strip of the downtown. Have you ever been overwhelmed and not realized it? People were talking to me and trying to carry on conversation, but I apparently wasn’t there. All I saw and heard was the homeless people, people in expensive clothes with lots of shopping bags, street performers, and guys with 12-inch spikes in their hair. This used to be all normal right? We went into a Barns and Noble bookstore and I apparently lost it. I just went on complete shut down. There were so many books! I like books. Everywhere I looked there were books, and ones I wanted to read. Books on food, health, history, poetry, literature, politics, how to books, novels, and an entire Christian section. There just wasn’t enough time, and where should I start, and really we were only there to use the bathrooms. I was brought back to earth when Caitlin asked me if I was ok. Much like my 5-week old daughter who goes right to sleep when things are and loud busy, I was over stimulated. It was a surprising reminder that although it was less than 3 years ago when we left our country, reentry will be a little more complicated than expected. My Dominican friend was right on a number of different levels; this country is weird. But not because of its structure and order, those are all wonderful things. It’s strange here because you wonder how many people know that all of our order, variety, freedom of expression, and wealth are not so normal but rather tremendous blessings compared to the rest of the world. We are our in own world. Do we even know it?

During our training in Colorado Springs, we learned that the average time period for resettling in your home culture is 4 years! We also learned and identified with the stages of a cross-cultural life. Right now we are in the “Chaos” stage, comforting right! Did you know that 50% of missionaries come back to their home culture with severe anxiety, depression, panic attacks, and thoughts of suicide? Ha! It’s good to know we’re not alone! Although I wouldn’t put anything in the “severe” category, we have experienced a good deal of most of those whether here or on the field. That’s not something you hear everyday from a missionary. In all it was a very needed week. We felt validated, understood, and comfortable talking for the very first time since we’ve been back. People were actually interested! We were also able to process the good and bad over the past two years and ponder on how we want to incorporate those things in our new life. Good quality time was spent seeking the Lord and His direction for the next adventure in our lives, and we will be excited to keep you all informed as God begins to reveal His plans for us now.

We are privileged and honored to have been the recipients of your gifts and prayers. Without all of you we could not have done the work of Lord as we did in the DR. We are confident that lives are changed and that it was a time well invested. We thank God for each of you on a regular basis, and pray that you would go on investing in expanding the kingdom through a local body, local missions, and foreign missions.

The financial details of life right now are building up faith in us. God has provided some temporary work for me right now, some remodel work at Caitlin’s parents, but life here is expensive, and our goal of starting a new life seems far away. We are blessed to be able to stay with my parents for this time but are looking forward to when we can afford our own place. Please pray that God will provide for us. Our term with Kids Alive is up at the end of September, but they have agreed to leave our account open until the end of the year. Kids Alive gives their missionaries a three-month transition period where a stipend is paid, insurance is covered, and ministry expenses are reimbursed (such as the training and travel expenses during our time in Debriefing and Renewal). Insurance is the main cost for us with just having a baby. The last two months we have received only half of our required support, leaving many costs that are out of the realm of our current income. Kids Alive will pay these costs for us as long as we have money in our support account, and right now we do not. We are grateful they have agreed to leave our account open for a few more months in hopes that some of these costs can be covered through continued giving. Please consider supporting us during this time of transition while we wait for God to put pieces together. Please pray for us that we would be strong in this time and seek Him who is our provider. It has been a pleasure having each and every one of you apart of our lives. May the Lord bless you and your household!

Lucy Layne

Photagrophy by April Greene

Little Lucy Layne heads to Colorado

Since Layne and I have been back from the Dominican Republic, we’ve had exciting things happen. On a lovely Saturday afternoon, our first child, Lucy Layne (bringer of light to the narrow path), was born. It was a beautiful day! She was born on July 25th, weighing 6lbs 5 oz. She’s a tiny little thing, but completely perfect. All the proud grandparents were there to behold the precious, new little life and several friends as well. Everyday since her birth, we haven’t been able to stop studying her, holding her, and watching all her quirky little facial expressions. Having a new baby is just amazing!

This week we are off to Colorado for our debriefing with Mission Training International. We went to MTI for training before heading to the Dominican Republic and now we are wrapping up our missions experience there. We absolutely loved it the first time around, so we are excited to see what God is going to teach us. We are also happy that we are going to see lots of friends and my brother, Chris, while we are in Colorado. And of course we are excited to show off our new little addition to everyone!

Coming Home

I said goodbye to Caitlin for what would be our longest time apart yet. Watching her and her big belly walk through those doors that only those with plane tickets can pass through was harder than we both thought. The first week was quite enjoyable for the both of us. She was busy being spoiled by her parents and eating at all the places one misses while living in a third world country. I was enjoying time alone; reading and trying to plan our near future the best I could. As the weeks went on being alone wasn’t such a comfort, but I did spend some meaningful time saying goodbyes properly, and mentally preparing myself for all the changes that were set to take place within the next few months.
I think if I took a stress test even now, it would show up off the charts. Three weeks ago, I was watching people take their newly born babies home from the hospital in their arms on the back of a motorcycle. Today, I have to worry if my child’s car seat meets federal regulations; if I’m not sure I am to take it to the fire department to have it inspected, it can’t be over 5 years old by law (cause everybody knows that car seats back then were completely unsafe) and finally, legally the hospital has to check the seat before we can leave and take our baby home. We are homeless, jobless, carless, re-entering this now quite foreign country, getting ready to have a baby, and are expected to look act and feel like we did before we left the country 2 years ago.
On paper it might look like we could have a break down at any moment. The truth is we are experiencing God’s strength, peace and assurance like never before. Don’t get me wrong it’s still not easy, but God has really been on His game lately with us! (like He’s never not!). I arrived in the St Louis airport to a glowing full-bellied wife. If I have nothing else in life I have her. Being away for so long brings that into perspective.
We are living with my parents for this time of transition. Caitlin’s parents have put me to work doing some remodeling of their house, and I have been working to try and rebuild the contacts I once had in the construction business. We have been able to share a vehicle with my parents (which sometimes involves them driving us around much like when we were preteens without a license). Actually today we are finalizing the purchase of a vehicle. We made it as long as we could without one (three weeks isn’t long). It’s not like there are motorcycle taxis at the entrance to my parents subdivision, or that we can walk the corner and catch a guagua (rickety 15 passenger public transportation van filled with 20-25 people).
In all, we are blessed and thank God for that everyday. He is supplying for us emotionally and physically. He is providing a wonderful young little baby girl in the next week as well. We are extremely anxious, especially Caitlin, for her arrival. God has big plans for her and what a privilege to be apart of that.
Thank you all for all of your prayers and support. Please stick with us for the next couple of months until our official time with Kids Alive ends at the end of September. We will be in Colorado Springs for some re-entry and debriefing time, as well as speaking at different churches. If you are interested in having us come and talk please contact us: laynebeller@hotmail.com . And stay tuned for pictures of baby Beller in the next couple of weeks!!

Pray for Haiti

Caitlin and I recently visited Haiti before she returned to the states. What a different world! It is astonishing the difference just 4 hours away. One thing you will see in the pictures is all the trash. The purpose of our visit was to spend some time with the Kids Alive missionaries there and be a bit of encouragement. Tom, Helen and their three adopted Haitian children have been in Haiti for 7 years. They have recieved much persecution. Last year they were robbed 7 times. Tom has had a death contract on his life, they have been physically abused, as well as spiritually drained. They told us that Haiti was nationally committed to Satan 200 years ago as way to distance themselves from their "christian" oppressors from Europe. There are few or no friends there for them. They definetly do not get to enjoy many social activities outside of their family setting (which because of that they are a family that is very close.) Right now the land that they have been living on and have their minisistry on, is being taken away from them. Drug lords have threatend death if they don't leave. They won a great battle in court, then soon after the drug lords presented false documentation saying the land was theirs. The case is now in the Supreme Court and could take years to be resolved either way. In spending time with the Froese's you feel like you are in the presence of champions. Tom's ability to laugh and tell jokes that we all laugh at (and his family all roles their eyes at) has served him well through everything they have had to overcome. You also get a since of appreciation and grattidude, as they do not have the privilage of many visitors. Over all it was an amazing trip. We were reminded in a loud way the power that Satan has and the importance it is to be fighting for the lives of people. Please pray for Haiti, and for the Kids Alive staff and ministry

Update

Hello dear friends!!
It is a joyous Easter season here in the Dominican Republic. Semana Santa, or “Holy Week” is probably the most celebrated time of year for Dominicans. Just about everything shuts down for a week of celebrating and relaxing. Our kids were off from school and ready and packed for a vacation. For 3 days all the kids from “The Ark” in Jarabacoa, as well as the kids in our Constanza program (another Kids Alive home site), set off in 3 different groups all across the island. We explored, camped, hiked, and had lots of fun. Caitlin went with the littlest kids to the coast of Samana. Another group drove all the way east to Bavaro. I was with the oldest group, and we went to the southwest. Memories were made, relationships strengthened, and appreciation for God’s wonderful creation was understood in a new way. See our blog for a more detailed account and lots of great pictures of our adventures. www.layneandcaitlin.blogspot.com .
Our time is nearing its end on the island. In May we will complete our original 2-year commitment. We have struggled in prayer and thought over the past year as to our plans and the direction God will lead us in life. We have thought of staying longer, transferring to another Kids Alive site, or going back and starting a life in the States. It has been one of the hardest decisions we have had to make thus far in our marriage. Our decision, or rather God’s revealed plan to us, is to move back to the States and start a new life there for an undetermined amount of time. We are both excited and sad, as the last two years has been unbelievable, as well as unforgettable.
Right now our plans are for Caitlin to return on May 19th. She is in her 3rd trimester and will need to return for doctor visits and to prepare for the birth of our first child. I will be staying for a few weeks longer as we will have teams coming to Caraballo that will need someone to lead them. I will join Caitlin back in Missouri and am anxious to take part in the birth.
I’m not sure if one can put into words the things we have experienced, the people we have meet, and the things God teaches a person in a third world country. One sees, lives, and changes from the onset of the journey. We are changed people from the inside out. I’m not sure if we would in a lifetime grow in the things that we have grown in over the past two years. We are closer to God, more mature and ready for life, humbled and broken, and stronger in our marriage. In another sense we are afraid. Will people understand? Will we be able to relate to our friends, our family, and our culture? Will anyone care? There is a Gospel message in this place that is hard to understand if it is not experienced first hand. There will always be apart of us here with these children, these friends, and these people who choose to stay and continue to sacrifice their lives for the overwhelming task of meeting the needs of this country.
We can say with confidence that God did amazing things through us. We were able to be apart of so many things, and share in the lives of so many that are eternally changed. I think of our year in Caraballo and the growth we were apart of there. The brand new project that it was when we arrived, to the thriving school it is now. Over two hundred kids being fed, taught, and discipled on a daily basis. I think of Ruben and Yubi whose lives will never be the same, going from living in a run down shed, to having concrete walls and floor, running water, a bathroom, an office, and even a spare room for guests. What a blessing it was to be apart of hundreds of individuals that made up the dozens of teams. We taught, laughed, cried, and set light to a new path for them. We lead them down a path that changed their lives, the same path that changed ours. We experienced so many whose lives changed right before our eyes. There are so many people who will never be the same because of what God is doing in the DR, and what a privilege is was to be apart of that. What friendships we made, National and American! Our time at “The Ark” has also been special. The friendships we have made with all the Dominican house parents, interacting with the kids on a very personal level, and being apart of the community has been special beyond description.
Being a military kid accustomed me to moving every three years, starting over, and ending friendships on a regular basis. This, however, is not much like those other times. This is harder. Maybe it’s because we have learned more than anything in this place: that life if about relationships. I realize that I practice better relations with the guy that helps me out in the local hardware store than I do my own family and best friends back home sometimes. You can’t get away from doing relationships well here. It’s more important than time and a busy schedule, problems, money, even comfort takes the backseat. We will miss being offered coffee every single time we enter a house of a friend or stranger and people greeting every person in the room when they enter the bank, clinic or whatever other public place. We will miss having our door constantly open and people coming and going, little kids with their faces to our window saying our names over and over. We’ll even miss the sound of motos and chickens at 2 AM. Everywhere you look there is life and relationship. But what about when we return? I guess I should get used to not greeting other women with a kiss on the cheek! But our desire is simple and a bit cliché. If life is what you make of it, then we want to make our life full and rich in relationship. We have this place and God’s people here to thank for that.
We are also indebted to each and every one of you who have dedicated and sacrificed over the last 2 years so that could continue in the work that God placed in front of us. Thank you for your service, thank you for your sacrifice, and for your time. It is our hope that we represented each sacrifice that each of you made with integrity, respect, and honor. Not a single week has gone by when we have not been completely humbled and in awe of God working in the willing hearts of each of you. We feel privileged and honored to have been an instrument and opportunity for so many people to serve the kingdom. Thank you for your obedience and willingness to serve our Lord where He has called you. Our time with Kids Alive will officially end at the end of September. While in the states we will have a time of “re-entry”. We will be attending a re-entry and debriefing course in Colorado Springs. The same group that did our initial training before leaving for the DR also offers this crucial training for those re-entering into their home culture. Kids alive will continue to pay us salary until the end of September as well as continue our medical coverage, provided we have the necessary support. We humbly ask for your continued support during this time of transition for our family.
Our plans are not yet certain. We desire God’s will for our lives and are confident He has plans for us that will continue to expand His kingdom. We are certain that those plans are centered in relationships and look forward to seeing how He blesses us or how we bless others within that realm. Please pray that we seek the Lord daily so that we do not miss a single detail of His plan. We are excited beyond words to start our family and continue His. Pray and hold us accountable to raise our child to fear the Lord. Please also pray and consider the next opportunity to serve the Lord through your recourses. It is our prayer that you continue to help and serve the poor no matter where that might be. I believe with all my heart that Kids Alive International is an organization with integrity and is an excellent avenue for helping those in need. If you would like to continue supporting a missionary, or would like to sponsor a child or perhaps a couple of children, please let us know and we can introduce you into kingdom building relationships. Kids Alive isn’t the only organization that is full of integrity and expanding God’s kingdom (although I’m bias with them when it comes to helping kids), but we know many people in many countries doing a variety of different things and if you need any ideas, we are here to help. You might even consider coming on a short-term mission trip to the DR. If you are part of a church body and are interested, Caitlin and I would love to come and share with you the joys of serving those in need and talk with you face to face about missions. Who knows God might touch your heart and you may decide to come and replace us in our jobs!
Sincerely,
Layne and Caitlin
P.S Keep up with our blog for updates and fun pictures of cute kids! (and soon, our own cute kid!)
www.layneandcaitlin.blogspot.com

Gran Circular

Once a month "The Ark" has a "Grand Circular" It's when all the kids and house parents get together in our multi-use building for a time of celebration. What are we celebrating? Nothing particular, just celebrating being a kid. They like to put on plays and skits, or sing songs. Normally there is a time of praise and worship. They really love it when we sing "Si Senor" or "Yes Lord" (Trading my sorrows). We sing "yes lord in every lang. we can think of. The favorite is Japanese: "Hi senor". We also celebrate birthdays and have ice cream, and give gifts. The kids love it.

Pico Duarte

I climbed the highest point in the Caribbean! For 3 days I hiked with a group of people up Pico Duarte. It had rained for 2 weeks previous to the trip and the bottom of the trail, the first 2 days, was mud a foot deep. The first night of camp there was nothing to sit on. I was determined to sit in comfort so I cut down some bamboo that was growing near by and fashioned myself a chair, tieing it together with vines. It took a little longer than I thought and wasnt all that sturdy, but I was able to sit in it for a few minutes! The second day was a 7 hour hike up to the next campsite. I took a picture of a whisky bottle someone had thrown off to the side of the path, only because at that moment every muscle and bone in my body was aching and telling me I needed a break. Who in the world would drink a bottle of whisky while climbing a 10,000ft mountain? It was a much needed moment of humor, at the same time a feeling that made me want to barf. YUCK!
The third day we had a quick 2 hour, but very painful summit to the top. It was beautiful. Pablo Duarte was a famous Dominican, and they really really love him. His name and face is plastered all over every city. He even has a presence at the peak where his huge head is. Going down took another entire day. I don't much like going down. But I guess it's a part of it.