I said goodbye to Caitlin for what would be our longest time apart yet. Watching her and her big belly walk through those doors that only those with plane tickets can pass through was harder than we both thought. The first week was quite enjoyable for the both of us. She was busy being spoiled by her parents and eating at all the places one misses while living in a third world country. I was enjoying time alone; reading and trying to plan our near future the best I could. As the weeks went on being alone wasn’t such a comfort, but I did spend some meaningful time saying goodbyes properly, and mentally preparing myself for all the changes that were set to take place within the next few months.
I think if I took a stress test even now, it would show up off the charts. Three weeks ago, I was watching people take their newly born babies home from the hospital in their arms on the back of a motorcycle. Today, I have to worry if my child’s car seat meets federal regulations; if I’m not sure I am to take it to the fire department to have it inspected, it can’t be over 5 years old by law (cause everybody knows that car seats back then were completely unsafe) and finally, legally the hospital has to check the seat before we can leave and take our baby home. We are homeless, jobless, carless, re-entering this now quite foreign country, getting ready to have a baby, and are expected to look act and feel like we did before we left the country 2 years ago.
On paper it might look like we could have a break down at any moment. The truth is we are experiencing God’s strength, peace and assurance like never before. Don’t get me wrong it’s still not easy, but God has really been on His game lately with us! (like He’s never not!). I arrived in the St Louis airport to a glowing full-bellied wife. If I have nothing else in life I have her. Being away for so long brings that into perspective.
We are living with my parents for this time of transition. Caitlin’s parents have put me to work doing some remodeling of their house, and I have been working to try and rebuild the contacts I once had in the construction business. We have been able to share a vehicle with my parents (which sometimes involves them driving us around much like when we were preteens without a license). Actually today we are finalizing the purchase of a vehicle. We made it as long as we could without one (three weeks isn’t long). It’s not like there are motorcycle taxis at the entrance to my parents subdivision, or that we can walk the corner and catch a guagua (rickety 15 passenger public transportation van filled with 20-25 people).
In all, we are blessed and thank God for that everyday. He is supplying for us emotionally and physically. He is providing a wonderful young little baby girl in the next week as well. We are extremely anxious, especially Caitlin, for her arrival. God has big plans for her and what a privilege to be apart of that.
Thank you all for all of your prayers and support. Please stick with us for the next couple of months until our official time with Kids Alive ends at the end of September. We will be in Colorado Springs for some re-entry and debriefing time, as well as speaking at different churches. If you are interested in having us come and talk please contact us: laynebeller@hotmail.com . And stay tuned for pictures of baby Beller in the next couple of weeks!!
